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Dark Cybertron in 15 Minutes

decepticonsensual:

Or, DC Did A Thing, Part the Thousandth.

So, I noticed a while back that there have been quite a few IDW fans who either haven’t read Dark Cybertron at all, or haven’t finished it.  And given that the first of the “after the dark” comics is due out tomorrow (Windblade #1, I am so excited!), I decided that I would help people out by providing a handy guide to the events of Dark Cybertron so that you can catch up before reading Windblade!

That was the intention, at least.

What happened?  Well, my plot summary ended up growing some snark.  And then the snark grew snark.  And they all had baby snarks.

The end result is part summary, part spoof.  I’ve tried to make sure that it tells a coherent story, so that if you haven’t read Dark Cybertron, you can still understand it - but even if you have, you should (hopefully) still get a kick out of this.  

Disclaimer:  This isn’t a straight-up retelling; a lot has been cut, plot elements have been moved around so that they flow more smoothly, and things have been exaggerated for comedic effect.  Most of all, though, this is my personal interpretation of the story and of the decisions, good and bad, that the creators made.  Your mileage will almost certainly vary.

If you’re still feeling brave enough after all that, then all aboard for DC’s Dark Cybertron in 15 Minutes!  Here we go!

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Awesome, please read.

bluedogdown:

rule #1 in transformers don’t get attached

jaclcfrost:

you’re stuck living with your icon for a month have fun

Best time to having change my icon. I already live with my toy Starscream and DFHKJDFBKD FIZZLE

jamadhar:

Commission for baiku!

jamadhar:

Commission for baiku!

Maybe the Insecticons compare their prisoners' interface equipment, and loudly try to decide who to frag first. One lusts after a prisoner's spike, while two squabble over another's valve before deciding that one takes the valve, the other takes the mouth. But only one prisoner will be allowed to live and be the Insecticons' permanent pleasure bot, so the prisoners must be sure to be the best.
Anonymous

crashboombanger:

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

kisachi-tf:

best panel of all the issue

kisachi-tf:

best panel of all the issue

I… changed my icon. No more Starscream, only Fizzle and his gay drink

shingeki-no-flute-fluff:

lithefider:

glorious-godofchaos:

reyairia:

pirateking92:

“That’s your otp”?

“They’re just friends”

image

“That’s your otp”?

“But they hate each other.”

image

“That’s your otp?” 

“But they’re not gay.”

image

"That’s your otp?"

"But they are like 2 feet apart in height."

image

"That’s your otp?"

"But one of them is dead."

image

gokuma:

trailbreakerofficial:

You got some ‘splainin’ to do, mister. 
I dunno. I needed to take a break from srs draws to do some derp draws. 

:3

gokuma:

trailbreakerofficial:

You got some ‘splainin’ to do, mister. 

I dunno. I needed to take a break from srs draws to do some derp draws. 

:3